Atomic Attraction: The Psychology Of Attraction
The Physical Factor We are drawn to others who are physically attractive. Even though it's always been said that beauty is only skin deep, our attraction to people is influenced by the physical factor. One study found that not only do we find faces more attractive if they have features that are typical of the average face, but also if they have features that resemble our parents. Likewise, being generally healthy and muscular can be seen as an indication of good genes and a stable living environment. But what about other potential mates? We imitate them too - consciously or not- because we like what they stand for (i.e., success). We tend to like and associate with those who share similar interests, tastes, and opinions. In the end, our subconscious may play a more important role in attraction than we realize. In fact, some research suggests that as much as 93% of the time we make our decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with someone before we even talk to them. The Social Factor Being part of a group is important to us. If we can't be accepted by a certain group/social circle, then our self-esteem suffers. Thus, one way people meet mates is through social gatherings such as parties or clubs where they know others will be present. In fact, a study found that members of a group with similar opinions were more likely to get together and form friendships. We also seek out others who have good social skills. People who are skilled at interacting with others are usually thought of as being likable and have higher self-esteem. In addition, their lifestyles tend to reflect this personal trait, making them sociable and attractive to other people. The Masculine/Feminine Factor We tend to favor mates with non-threatening qualities such as being ambitious or competitive, while feeling safe around those who are considerate and compassionate. We are drawn to those who are similar to us. It is our need for stability that can lead us to form relationships with people who are, at least on the outside, similar to us. One study found that people tend to prefer other similar individuals because they have good genes and thus have potential for being healthy. The Emotional Factor Often times we base attraction on feelings rather than actual behavior. This means that our emotions can play a very important role in our perceptions of others. We are drawn to those that seem trustworthy or capable of being emotionally intimate with us. We also tend to be drawn into relationships with those who are not shy about emotional expressiveness. One study found that women like men who are emotionally expressive. This is true regardless of their gender. Attractiveness can also be influenced by our past relationships. Attorneys have been shown to have more positive perceptions of attractive attorneys who were previously their clients. Attorneys also had higher likability ratings for attractive attorneys who were previously not their clients, regardless of the attractiveness of the attorney's previous representation. Another study found that people are more attracted to New Year's resolutions which are similar to theirs regardless of whether or not they are actually successful at achieving them. Once again, this is because people tend to prefer others who are likelihoods of being likely to achieve certain goals...
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